


I've been waiting for you

by azkagranger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Light Bondage, Older Man/Younger Woman, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:34:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27975912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azkagranger/pseuds/azkagranger
Summary: Hermione knew from the moment the battle was over that nothing would be the same again. But she didn't expect that to include falling in love with Remus Lupin.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger & Remus Lupin, Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Lavender Brown/Ron Weasley
Comments: 27
Kudos: 57





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, so this is an idea that I had while listening to "Back to you" by Selena Gomez and was bothering my brain so I had to sit down to write, this first chapter is more of a prologue, contextualizing you to the "world" of this fanfic, it will really start in the next chapter.  
> Most of the chapters will be inspired by some song or part of a song so I hope you like fanfic like that, it’s not my first fanfic but it’s my first Remus-Hermione and English is not my first language and I don’t have a beta then be kind.  
> I will try to update at least once a week but if I can’t apologize right now, I’m moved by comments because I really need to know what you guys think so please don’t be shy and let me know your opinion.  
> Remembering that I don't own Harry Potter or his characters, all rights belong to J.K. Rowling, I just play with the universe she created.  
> Good reading :)

  
Hermione knew at the moment the battle was over that nothing would be the same again. She knew as she held Ron's hand when he saw Fred's body. She knew at the first dinner at the Burrow when Molly gave her the biggest of the hugs when she found out about her relationship with Ron. 

But when Sirius invited her, Ginny, Harry and Ron, to live with him and Remus at Grimmauld Place was when she finally realize that everything had changed. 

The first weeks were the most strange ones, although she had lived in the same place that Harry, Ron and Ginny for at least six years, Hogwarts was way bigger than the Grimmauld Place, and learning everyone's habits was hard but after almost a year of bad sleep and running, she was grateful for the same bed every night.

Sirius was the perfect host, he let them all very free to live as they wished, asking only for help in the redecoration, which took almost six months to end once it took at least two months for they to find out how to take Walburga's portrait out of the house, but they did eventually.

Hermione had run from most of the redecoration, too tired from helping to rebuild Hogwarts, and often used the old library to hide. Was in one of her hidden missions that she had her first real conversation with Remus.

Remus spent the first month after they moved in his room, leaving only for the meals or when Sirius threatened him but that day he decided to hide from the very excited Sirius in the library, finding Hermione wrapped in the sofa with a book in her hands. 

She only smiled at him before turn her attention back to her book as he looked around the room to find himself something intriguing, he discovered as the month was passing that that was her way to understand his need for quiet and let him comfortable.

He looked thin and tired, even more than the first day they met back at the begging of her third year, and she knew that was more for the memories of his loss in the battle than for his condition. 

They sat in silence for several minutes before someone had the nerve to talk and after that, they talked for a couple of hours about their books, the redecoration and a lot of things before someone finds them and they are obligated to help. 

Was in the week after their first conversation that Remus started to attend the living room and spend time with the rest of the house, was also that week that Hermione began to have nightmares.

Sometimes they were about Bellatrix torturing her, others they were about Harry dead in Voldemort's arms and sometimes about all the bodies that lay in the Great Hall after the battle was over. 

The first time she was woken up by a nightmare, she woke Ron hoping he would hug her and comfort her, however, he just told her to try to sleep again that it would be okay. 

For the next few times, she was just content to lie down, her heart pounding and her body covered with sweat but after Ron complained that she moved too much at night and didn't let him sleep properly, she decided to leave the room when the nightmares woke her.

She found Remus in the kitchen that first night, he was alone listening to music and drinking tea, which she happily accepted when he noticed her and offered her a cup. That night she discovered that he also had nightmares that combined with years of insomnia made him sleep very little. 

After that night they got into a kind of routine, every time she had a nightmare she left the room to meet him in the kitchen, they talked about their respective nightmares or if it was too difficult to talk about, they just talked about anything else or just went up to the library and read in a comfortable silence that Hermione already associated with Remus. 

In the many years that she met Remus, she knew that he was incredibly kind, patient and absurdly intelligent and that always attracted her, but in the year they lived together, with the routine they created she discovered that he also had a wicked sense of humour.

As the year went on, time was being kind to Remus. He no longer had dark bags under his eyes and the constant generous meals that Kreacher prepared, made him well: he was no longer as thin, and with the weight he gained, Hermione couldn't help noticing the muscles that now marked his shirts.

A selfish part of her liked to think that she also had a part in his improvement, besides the conversations and company she also prepared the wolfsbane potion for him every month and helped him after the transformations when Sirius was too busy. 

But as she became closer and closer to Remus, she and Ron moved further away. He spent more and more time away from home and when he was there he never seemed to mind spending time with her, and at one point she stopped caring, and that's when the fights started, the screams, the fingers pointing, the doors slamming, quite a show for the other residents of the house, just for them to end the night having sex and pretending nothing was wrong.

Although she and Remus talked about everything, they never talked about her relationship, he never asked and she never mentioned.

Aware of how everyone looked at her when she mentioned Ron, she didn't want that look from him and also she didn't want him to knew that she didn't care that her relationship was falling apart as long as he was there, being so open about his feelings and fears and making her open up too, just to make her laugh at the end of the night like no one else was capable of. 

She found out on one of the coldest nights of the year, the moment he summoned a blanket for her in the library. She knew, later that night when he bent down to kiss her forehead and her heart almost jumped out of her chest, she knew that nothing was as it was before. But she was too scared with her feelings to admit so. 


	2. Opening hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I know it took me a long time to post this chapter but here it is  
> Nothing much to say here but please read the notes at the end  
> Remembering that I don't have a beta and English is not my first language so please be kind  
> I just finished the chapter and I'm already posting so maybe there are some errors that I will only notice tomorrow, if you see any let me know  
> hope you like it :)

_ 'Darling, only you can ease my mind _

_ I'll admit, for a moment I felt so afraid _

_ Just to show you the mess that I made _

_ There are pieces I usually hide _

_ But when you collect me with your steady hand _

_ With a language that I understand _

_ I feel put back together inside' _

** \- Ease my mind (Ben Platt)  **

** May, 2  **

A year after the battle, Hermione was running through the house, trying to make it look comfortable and warm. Not that it wasn't comfortable or warm, but she was making an extra effort to make Molly less angry about them choosing there other than The Burrow and it also kept her mind away from overthinking all the events from that night. 

Once all the Weasleys were on the living room and Molly was settled on the kitchen - to Kreacher dismay - Hermione decided finally take a shower and get ready to dine.

when she was done, she went downstairs to the living room, meeting the rest of her friends together, each one telling their favourite memories with Fred. Hermione went after Ron and put her arms around his neck behind him to support him, knowing it was hard for him to hear about his dead brother, but he didn't even seem to notice her presence. And that was when she realized that someone was missing from the room.

"Has anyone seen Remus?" she asked

"He was at the library the last time I checked" Sirius replied with a half-smile "It's not a very good day"

She just nodded gently and kissed Ron on the head before heading for the stairs towards the library, finding the door half-open. She didn't plan on spying through the semi-open door, but she didn't know how to approach him, he was sitting on the sofa by the fireplace, a glass of firewhiskey in one hand and a photo in the other that she couldn't see. 

She took a deep breath and entered the library, knocking lightly on the door to announce her presence, not that she needed it as the moment she approached the door Remus took his eyes off the photo to face her.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Hermione asked smiling slightly and sitting next to him on the couch

"Everything is fine, I just needed some time to-" he clears his throat "silently miss her"

"The Weasleys can indeed be really loud, may I?" she asks pointing at the photo in his hand and it takes a few seconds before Remus finally sighs loudly and gives the photo to her. It's him and Tonks at Bill and Fleur's wedding, his hand is on her waist and they are both grinning before she reaches out and kisses him.

"Tell me about her," she says spontaneously causing Remus to frown

"What do you mean? You knew her" is his answer and Hermione can hear the defensive tone in his voice

"Yes, I knew her, even though Ginny was closer to her than me. But I want to know her through your eyes, not Tonks but Dora" she said in the most sincere tone she could "But I understand if it is too difficult and you can't do it, you know I would never ask you for anything that makes you uncomfortable "

His voice was low and full of sadness when he spoked 

"I remember the first time I saw her, I think it was about two months before you came here from Burrow to wait for Harry. It was her first meeting as a member of the Order and the difference between her and the other members was clear, not only because of the purple mess she called hair, "and she couldn't help laughing with him before he continued" but also because she was so alive, you know? So young, so, so-" 

"Gorgeous" Hermione finished for him and he smiled at her 

"Yes, she was so gorgeous and so clumsy, Merlin she almost fell out of her chair some fifteen times in that meeting and at the end of it, I was fascinated by her. It took me many months to finally allow myself to accept her love." 

"It must have driven her mad" 

"It did," Remus said chuckling "I remember the day I told her that I loved her"

Remus was staring at the fireplace, probably reliving the moment in his head and Hermione just stood there in silence, letting him have his moment and waiting for him to continue

"We were at her flat after a mission together, we were so tired that we didn't even eat, we just went straight to bed. And there we were, laying on her bed, incredible tired but our minds too agitated to sleep and she was telling me how she believed that it all would be worth it when the war was over and Voldemort was dead, and I could tell that she really believe it" 

"That was a good thing right? That she had faith" Hermione asks when he hesitates and he met her gaze, staring her intensely

"Yes and no, it's good to have faith indeed but in a war such as the one we were fighting we needed to be realistic, and our odds were not good and that's why I asked her if she believed that we were going to make it, I needed to know her answer and I can remember as if it were yesterday, the moment she got up in bed and looked at me and told me that she didn’t know if we would survive, that when she joined the order she knew the risks and that she had made peace with that possibility a long time ago, I had never seen her as serious as at that moment, of course, five seconds later she made a joke and we changed the subject but it was at that moment that I knew I loved her, I told her that night and that was the last thing I told her before she was hit in front of me a year ago"

He sighed loudly before facing Hermione again and they were silent for several minutes before she reached out and caressed his arm, making him shiver with the contact.

"That's sad and beautiful at the same time, and I know you enough to know that you think that should be you instead of her, especially because she was so young, but I'm pretty sure she's very happy that you make it and also very proud of you wherever she is," she said smiling at him but before he could answer it the door swing open and Sirius entered 

"Yes, she's very happy that he make it but I know my little cousin is cursing him all the time for not enjoying life as he should" 

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Sirius this time," Remus replied laughing and Hermione felt her heart melt with the sound "but what you're doing here anyway Sirius?"

"Just came to tell that dinner is ready and we should go eat" but instead of walking to the door, Sirius sat on the chair next to the sofa. Hermione was getting up to leave the library when she felt Remus' hand hold her hand, making electricity run through her fingers and she turned to meet his gaze. 

"Thank you" was all he said almost whispering and she nodded lightly smiling 

"Anytime," she answered in the same low voice before turning to Sirius and asking in a normal tone "won't you guys come?" 

"We'll be there in a sec, kitten" Sirius answered her with a wink and she nodded before releasing Remus' hand and stepping out of the room. 

When she went to sleep that night, she still felt the warmth of his hand on hers.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus watched Hermione leave the library (still feeling the heat where her hand had been on his arm previously) before turning to face Sirius who was looking at him intently

"You told her" was all Sirius said for several minutes "I should be offended because I've been trying to get you to tell me about her for a year but I'm glad you finally told about her to someone"

"There's something about Hermione that I don't know, I didn't want to be down there tonight because I didn't want to talk about Dora but the second she came in here and asked me to speak, I realized how much I needed it, I know it doesn't make sense"

"It makes sense, I can see how happy you are when she's around, just be careful"

"I don't know what you're talking about" Remus replies sincerely confused but Sirius just laughs

"But I do and eventually you will too, but for now let's have dinner"

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

** June, 10  **

Hermione was completely engrossed in the book she was reading and waiting for the kettle on the fire to make tea when she heard the floo being activated and her heart jumped knowing who it was even before he entered the kitchen

"Hey stranger," Remus said joining her at the table and supporting his head in one of his hand

"Hi, how was it?" she asked smiling and trying to calm her heart, ' _ why on earth you feel so happy by his arrival?'  _

Since the beginning of the month Remus had been working in a Muggle bookstore, which Hermione thought was perfectly suited for him, he was much happier now that he no longer needed to depend on Sirius' money. Every day he left right after lunch and came back around six, but that night it was a little after eight when he came back. 

"Was nice, not much movement tonight and I went to get some drinks with my coworkers after we closed, I assume you guys had dinner already?" he was smiling at her and she only nodded "What was tonight?" 

"It was pizza, so, you met someone nice on your happy hour?" and the moment the question got out of her mouth she noticed how bitter was her tone  _ 'Merlin, what's happening to me?'  _

"I missed pizza night? I can't believe it, It was Sirius idea to have pizza night when he realised that I wasn't home wasn't it?" 

She didn't know if Remus hadn't heard the question or decided to ignore it or if he was simply too focused on having missed the pizza to notice her tone, whatever it was, she thanked the universe for and allowed herself to laugh at his false despair and take her wand to make the pizza box behind him stand at the table in front of him. 

"I saved some for you," she said pointing to the box and at that moment the kettle was beeping and she stands up to reach it "Tea?"

"You're too good for me Hermione but yes" 

Remus couldn't take his eyes off her as she paced the kitchen, finding the necessary things to make tea, for him it was charming how she still did many things in the Muggle way even though she was an incredible witch. 

"You know, I passed in front of a cinema today going to the pub, and they are playing films that have already been released," he said calmly and the only indication she was hearing was the "Uhm" she did without taking his eyes off her task, he waited for her to sit in front of him again and hand over his mug before continuing "they’re playing Star Wars"

He watched as her eyes went wide and he could tell she was remembering the argument they had the week before where he was completed shocked that she had never watched star wars  _ 'even Sirius has watched it and he's a pureblood wizard"  _ was his major argument while her excuse was  _ 'My dad was Trekkie that's not my fault if he never introduced me to star wars and when I got older I was too busy trying not to get killed to watch films'  _

"And?" Hermione asked, amusement sparkling in her eyes 

"And I thought that maybe if you don't have anything to do, you would like to go watch with me on Friday, I leave early that day and we can go to the 5 p.m. session, what do you think?"

And Hermione had this strange sensation that she had something on Friday but couldn't exactly tell what it was so she decided to let it go

"Friday works perfectly for me but since you're the one with a job and the one who wants so bad that I watch it, you pay," she says teasing and they start to laugh

As the night went they kept talking and laughing, Remus would tell her about his coworkers and the customers and Hermione was going to fill him in whatever that happened in the house during the day. It was past 1 am when they heard the door being slammed, Remus had his wand ready when she touched his arm.

"It's alright, must be Ron coming home," she said forcing a smile 

"He was out?" Remus asked her trying very hard not to add 'again' at the end of his question, but before she could answer Ron was entering the kitchen 

"Hey Mione, just who I've been looking for," he says rolling his tongue and hugging her from behind 

"Hi, you're drunk," she says trying to get off his grip but stopping when she realises why  _ 'he's my boyfriend, why am I uncomfortable to show him affection in front of Remus?'  _

"Just a little hon, can we go to our room now, please? I really need you" he says and starts to kiss and nibble and her neck as his hand goes to her thigh letting her - and Remus - aware of how he needed her, and then she's beyond uncomfortable and shrugs him off 

"Why don't you go first and I'll be there in a sec baby?" she suggests and he happily accepts, kissing her before he leaves "Sorry about that, he's just drunk"

"Don't worry" he assures her as she stands and heads towards the door, pausing when she reaches it and turn around around 

"Friday still up?" she asks and he nods "It's a date then" 

Too focused on getting Ron out of the kitchen and far away from Remus, she missed the way he jaw clenched and his fists closed when Ron hugged her and made his intentions for the night clear, but mainly, she missed the smile he gave in response for hers when she confirmed their 'date'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that a lot of this chapter was Remus talking about his love for Tonks but I hope that with Sirius' speech you understand why it was/is important: he didn't talk about it to anyone, not even Sirius and he says he tried several times. Remus is not an open person and talking about his girlfriend who died in front of him is definitely not an easy thing for him, but even so, he opened up to Hermione, proof of how he trusts her and knows that she cares for him.  
> Also, let me know what you think, what you expect, I love to hear your opinion and where you think the story is going, any questions you can ask too.  
> See you in the next chapter :)


	3. Films and complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back and this time I didn't take too long, I hope you like this chapter and it's always good to remember that I don't have a beta, if anyone wants to volunteer they can feel free haha, also English is not my first language, without further ado good reading :)

_ "Friends don't stand around playin' with their keys _

_ Finding reasons not to leave, tryin' to hide the chemistry _

_ Get a little too close _

_ We do but friends don't" _

  * **_Friends don't (Maddie & Tae) _**



** June 14  **

Hermione was looking at herself in the mirror, after trying all the beauty spells she knew to tame her hair she finally gave up and asked Ginny to braid her hair, the witch was more than happy to have something to do, fifteen minutes later she had her hair in a perfect double french braid. 

Now she was standing in front of the mirror, trying to decide if the dress she chose was suitable or if she should change it for pants and a T-shirt instead. 

Deciding that the dress was ok, she left the mirror and went for her bag before giving one last look in the mirror and apparating near the bookstore where Remus worked. 

She walked there and during the entire track, she felt her hands sweating like a teen going to her first date, why she was feeling like this? It didn't take long before she was walking in the bookstore.

Hermione didn't saw Remus anywhere but she had arrived there earlier than agreed due to her nervousness, so she decided to venture out on the shelves to calm herself down and wait for him to leave.

Remus was returning from the door after leading a customer out the store when he saw her. He looked at his watch to make sure he wasn't lost in time and it confirmed that indeed she shouldn't be there in at least thirty minutes but there she was, looking the books in the shelves like the most precious thing in the world and he felt his heart melt with the scene. Shooking his head with the thought, he started to walk in her direction.

She was so engrossed in a promising Muggle novel that she didn't hear him approach her and jumped slightly when she heard his voice behind her making chills run through her body. 

"Hey you," he said smiling "sorry, I didn't mean to scared you, just wanted to say that I'll clock out in twenty minutes and then when can head out, ok?" 

"No problem, I'll pay for this one while I'll wait" she replied at the moment a client entered the bookstore and he went to assist her

As she waited in line to pay, she took the opportunity to observe Remus attending a pretty girl, he listened patiently as she spoke, probably describing the type of book she wanted. When he started laughing at something she said, the girl started touching his arm, in a clear attempt of flirting.

Hermione began to feel an urgent need to go over there and get Remus away from the girl, a need she didn't know where it came from and decided to look away and not think about it.

he approached her again when she was finishing paying for the book, he was already without his apron and introduced her to all his co-workers before they left.

The walk to the cinema was short and five minutes later they arrived, he paid for their tickets even with her protesting, saying she was kidding when she told him to pay. Once they were in, she ran to get their popcorns and not give him the opening to pay, when they finally sat down in their seats, she was panting but couldn't stop giggling.

He looked at her puzzled, not getting what was so funny but feeling his heart getting warmer with the sound. A few minutes later he saw she was rubbing her arms and shivering a little and he takes off his cloak to give her.

Hermione was cursing herself for not remembering how cold cinemas can be when he offered his cloak, she was embarrassed that he noticed she was cold but took the cloak anyway. She let a moan out when she was embraced by the warmth of the cloak and heard Remus laugh. The cloak smelled like him - parchment, ink, books and something she couldn't quite point but was his smell - and she found intoxicating. 

When the lights went out, it was when Hermione realized how close they were, the minimum effort on her part and she would be able to hold his hand. She sat in the chair as erect as possible, her hands glued to her lap as if she were afraid to do something stupid but as soon as the movie started she simply forgot all her worries. 

Remus couldn't help looking at her during the movie to watch her reactions in his favourite parts, she seemed fascinated by the movie and he found himself smiling the entire session. Since she knew he was already watching, she felt free to comment on the details of the film with him in a low voice so as not to disturb other people.

He thought it was adorable but he couldn't understand the chill that ran through his body every time he felt her hot breath on his neck when she was going to whisper something in his ear or the way his hand seemed to burn where she held it from excitement at certain points in the film.

When the movie ended they decided to extend the night and go to dinner at an Italian restaurant that was a short distance from the cinema. They chatted excitedly about the movie while waiting for the food to arrive and Remus managed to get Hermione to admit that it was much better than she was expecting and that she would see the others.

"Tell me what's bothering you," Remus said when she finally finished eating and she just raised a confused eyebrow "I know you, Hermione, you're trying to cover it up with small talk all night but I know something is bothering you"

"McGonagall showed up at the house earlier today," she said after a long sigh "she offered us a place to return to Hogwarts to finish our seventh year and do our NEWTS, it wouldn't even be a whole year, we would finish in January but I do not know"

"Are you afraid that after all you've been through you don't belong at Hogwarts anymore"

"Yes, and I also don't know if I would adapt to the routine of going to classes, rules, curfew again, all of that is not exactly who I am anymore, you know?"

"Yes, I do, but I also know that you're itching to go back there and learn as much as you can one last time," he says smiling and she nods laughing "so if my opinion is worth anything, I think it would be an incredible opportunity and if you don't adapt, you can always go home and do your NEWT in the ministry without any problem"

They spent the rest of the night talking about the opportunity Minerva was presenting to Hermione and all the good things that could come with it and what she would be giving up to. Instead of ordering dessert at the restaurant, they chose to apparate in a small ice cream shop near to Grimmauld Place and walk home from there, neither of them wanting the night to end but too embarrassed to say so. 

The ice creams were long gone and they were almost home when Hermione looked to Remus and saw he had ice cream on the side of his mouth, she warned him about it and teased him about being worse than a child as he tried to clean the ice cream without success. 

she stopped walking because she couldn't stop laughing at his vain attempts, and gestured for him to turn to her. She stood on tiptoe to reach his face and ran her thumb over the ice cream, stopping laughing when she realized how close they were and whispering a "done" so low that he wouldn't have heard it if it weren't for his werewolf senses.

Remus instinctively put his hand on her waist so she wouldn't fall, and was looking into her brown eyes as she stroked his cheek and saw when she stuck out her tongue to wet her lips. He was thinking about how kissable her lips were when he realized where they were.

"We're home," he said, breaking the bubble they were in and heard her clear her throat before smiling and heading toward the door.

They had barely entered the house and closed the door when Ron came running towards them practically shouting

"Hermione, where the bloody hell was you?" 

"I was out with Remus, you saw me leaving what's happening? Why are you screaming?"

"Yes, I saw you leaving at four, is nine already. I thought you would be home before seven so we could go to my parents to have dinner"

And Hermione's head started to spin, memories of Ron telling her earlier in the week about dinner at the Burrow, the feeling that she had something when Remus invited her to the cinema and that she decided to ignore it, how can she have been so stupid and overlooked something important like that?

"I'm so sorry Ron, I didn't remember it was today, I wouldn't have missed it if I had remembered, you know that," she said and everyone could see how sincere she was being, well, almost everyone

"Do I? 'Cause you seemed too busy trying to shag Remus to fucking remember about the bloody dinner in with your boyfriend's family" Ron yelled and her eyes widened, looking around she could see now that everyone was watching their fight with surprise in their faces

"That's enough Ronald, I think we already made a very nice show to our friends, let's finish it in our room shall we?" 

Ron didn't even wait for her to finish talking to go up the stairs and stomp up, Hermione followed shortly after, stopping only to turn to Remus and hiss a 'sorry' that he quickly waved his hands to say it was all fine.

She came down an hour later, desperate for tea and tired after arguing for what seemed like an eternity with Ron, hoping to find Remus in the kitchen like every night. But it was Sirius that she found sitting at the table, a glass of firewhiskey in his hand.

They talked for a few hours about her afternoon with Remus, about the movie and inevitably about her fight with Ron that he witnessed. Hermione was impressed to discover that he was a great listener, stopping her a few times and just making a comment or two. She was already halfway to the door when he called her

"Can I ask you a question, kitty?" he asked and she nodded "You seemed to have had a really good night today until you got home, how long are you going to keep making excuses for his behaviour? He's always tired, or confused, or sad, there's always some reason for everything. Why do you force yourself to stick to something you clearly don't want anymore? "

She wanted to say that she didn't know what he was talking about, that she didn't make excuses for Ron's behaviour but a part of her was unable to vocalize, so she just stared at him for a few seconds before turning her back on him again and going to the room.

Along the way she was thinking about how erratically her heart was beating when Remus put his hand on her waist and how she thought he was going to kiss her. Staring at the bedroom door she shared with Ron she pushed those thoughts away, she had a boyfriend and it wasn't fair to him to be thinking about it. Taking a deep breath she opened the bedroom door and entered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes i switch the povs without noticing, so tell me if that bothered you and I'll try to stick to only one character pov.  
> Talking about character pov, I was thinking about doing a Sirius pov in a few chapters from here, what do you guys think? It would be interesting or not?   
> Let me know what you think, what you're expecting, I really like to know your thoughts about the story, see you next chapter :)


	4. After the full moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back and yes, I know it took me a long time but here I'm, I didn't proofread this chapter so I'm counting on you guys to tell me any mistakes you see.
> 
> Always good to remind you that English is not my first language and I don't have a beta. 
> 
> Thank you for the kind comments, they make me so happy you guys have no idea. 
> 
> Let's go to this chapter, see you in the end notes :)

_'This ain't usually me_

_But I might let it down for ya_

_So come run your hands through my hair_

_I want you to touch it softly_

_Like the way you do my mind'_

** - ** ** my hair (Ariana Grande)  **

**_ 21st June _ **

Remus opened his eyes and groan with the feeling of his throat incredibly dry and decided to get some water, but hissed in pain the moment he made the slightest movement. He hated the day after the full moon, the last ones weren't as bad as it had once been thanks to the wolfsbane Hermione was providing but he was still feeling like crap in the following days, his entire body sore due to the stretching and changing that the transformation requires. 

He was swearing lowly when Hermione gently entered the room, scanning the bed to check on him and opened a smile when she saw him looking at her.

"Good morning sleeping beauty, did I wake you?" she asked sitting in the bed next to him and putting his hand on his forehead "no fever, that's good"

"I was already awake when you entered but too invalid to go downstairs, how long I've been out?" he asks with his throat protesting. Hermione seemed to realize and jump out of bed to serve him a cup of water and handle it to him.

"Not much actually, it's only past lunchtime, are you hungry? I can go to the kitchen to get you the lasagna Molly made, she is still here" 

Remus was about to open his mouth to refuse the offer but suddenly he heard steps on the staircase next to his room and a delicious smell getting closer to the room. It wasn't long after that Molly pop up in the room, carrying a tray with food and pumpkin juice for him, claiming that if he didn't eat at that moment when he went to eat he wouldn't have any more. 

After he finished eating, Hermione took the tray to the kitchen and after a few minutes she was back with a giant bar of chocolate, she smiled at the way his eyes lit up at the sight and stole a bite before giving it to him, chuckling when he protested. 

She stood in the room the entire afternoon, even when he was asleep again, 'just in case he needed anything'. It doesn't matter how many times Remus would tell her that he was fine, he could walk (hardly but still) and do things by himself, she would only roll her eyes at him and go back to talk about whatever she was saying before. 

Hermione only left the room once Sirius was back from doing whatever he was doing and taking her place to help Remus to bathe and other things he refused let Hermione help him. 

As much as he loved Sirius, Remus found himself bothered with the absence of the woman. He was fighting with whatever this feeling was for the entire last month, and Remus didn't even give it a thought, he couldn't.

The best thing to do was ignore it because it would only take one single thought about it and he would be damned, and if the way Sirius was looking at him and the chair Hermione was sitting minutes ago, was the indication of something, Sirius knew precisely what he was thinking. 

"I don't want to hear a word about whatever you thinking Pads" he growls as he stands and tries to walk to the bathroom 

"Since you asked so nicely" the animagus answered with a smirk on his face before walking to him and wrapping his arms around him. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus was sitting on the sofa in the living room that night after Sirius helped him with the stairs, the house was strangely silent and it seemed like he was the only one in the first floor, this until Sirius appeared with his leather jacket and muggle clothes. 

Seeing Remus surprised face, he explained that they were going out to a muggle pub because the boys had a meeting with the DA members and he was going for the fun. Sirius even asked him if he wanted to go with them but Remus was glad he could use the full moon to avoid going to a loud and crowded space. 

He didn't see when they left, he only heard the door shut and knew he was alone. Remus pondered what to do and after a few minutes, decided to take the rare silence to finish the book he was procrastinating for weeks, he wasn't able to tell how much time had passed when he put the finished book aside and heard the door opened and shut. 

When the smell of cinnamon hit his nostrils, Remus knew Hermione was the one entering the house, he had his confirmation when she appeared on the living room door in front of him. 

Telling him how she decided to call it a night at midnight, before everyone else because she had a post-full moon werewolf to take care of and how Ron didn't like it that she left him there but she didn't care. Remus could tell for the way Hermione stumble a little in her way to get closer to the couth he was sitting and her easy giggles that she was drunk, not super drunk but definitely tipsy. 

"Than tell me how a drunk Hermione can help a post-full moon werewolf that is way heavier and bigger than her?" Remus teases her with a smile on his face. It took her a few seconds to answer because she was leaning closer to him, their noses almost touching when she finally answered. 

"A drunk Hermione can do a lot of things," she said with a low, dangerous voice and looking him in the eyes she continued "What do you want me to do Remus?" 

He swallowed hard with the intensity she was looking at him, she was too close and he almost let a growl when she wetted her lips, waiting for his answer. It would be incredibly easy to kiss her, one little movement and his lips would be on hers, but he couldn't do it, she was his former student, she was drunk and she definitely didn't saw him in that way, so he cleared his throat before answering.

"I would like some water if it's not asking too much of you" the second the words came out he could swear he saw disappointment in her face but it faded too quickly to him to be sure, it only took her a minute to have a glass of water in front of him. 

After drinking the water they got up to his room, he claimed that he wanted to sleep to regain energy and to get better and after giving him some potions and helping him lay on the bed, Hermione went to sit in the chair in front of his bed. He knew he shouldn't but he also knew how uncomfortable the chair was and she had already spent her entire afternoon sitting on it so he invited her to the bed and after a few minutes protesting, she gave in climbing in the bed next to him with a book on her hands. 

As much as she tried, Hermione couldn't concentrate on her book once Remus was rolling, moving and rumbling every five minutes and at some point, she couldn't have it anymore, the alcohol in her system making her start laughing. 

"What are you laughing about?" Remus asked, his voice muffled by the pillows 

"You," Hermione answered, giggling again "apparently you can't stay quiet, what's the problem?" 

"I'm tired and I can't sleep or find a comfortable position and it's frustrating" 

Hermione didn't know if it was the alcohol or simply the need to take care of him, but the moment she heard his answer she knew exactly what to do. She started to move until her body was touching Remus' and moved her hand to his hair. 

"What are you doing?" he asked pulling his hair away from her hand, his eyes wide open. She could see his guards up through his eyes, she had faced them a lot of times in the past, but now she knew exactly how to past through them.

"It's okay, it's something my mum used to do to me when I was too agitated to sleep, do you trust me? If you don't like it tell me and I'll stop" Hermione answered, seeing how he was discussing the matter in his head. 

She just waited for him to make a decision and when he slowly put his head under her fingers she let out a breath of relieve and started to pet his hair in the most tender manner she knew, feeling him relax under her touch and turned her attention back to her book. 

It didn't take long for his breathing to become completely relaxed and when Hermione looked down he was asleep. The normally strained features on his face were completely relaxed, making him look younger, she admired each of his face lines for longer than she would admit before yawning and turning her attention back to the book but it didn't take long for her to fall asleep without realizing.

It was still dark when Remus opened his eyes, and looking at the body entwined with his he knew he should wake her up, she must have accidentally slept while looking at him. But her body felt so warm on his, the smell of cinnamon intoxicating him and she looked so right there in his bed that in a rare moment of sleep-induced selfishness he just pulled Hermione closer and slept again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Hermione = Bold Hermione haha, as always I'm dying to know what you think so please don't be shy and tell me, I hope you liked this chapter, see you in the next one (I promise I won't take so long haha"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, you must be asking "Olivia, did you proofread this chapter?" and the answer is: no, I didn't sorry, please tell me any mistakes you see.
> 
> I had very interesting comments on the last chapter, so thank you guys for not being shy and really telling me what you think, it really inspires me and gives me the strength to keep writing. 
> 
> I had a very hard time writing this chapter bc nothing felt right but I really needed to write this part, so please tell me what you think, there's not much Remus-Hermione interaction but you'll see why and hopefully you'll understand, good reading :)

_'I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to_

_When I'm lying close to someone else_

_You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it'_

  * **_Back to you (Selena Gomez)_ **



**_22nd June_ **

A nock on the door was what wake Hermione, she tried to open her eyes but the light was too much for her pulsing headache and the body holding her seemed too comfortable to leave the bed. The sound of someone clearing his throat a little too hard to be natural forced Hermione to finally open her eyes and for the shift in the bed so did the person next to her. She groaned to the light and realized that she wasn't in her bedroom, the flashbacks from the night before flowing to her mind. 

She looked to her side and saw Remus sending a deadly look and followed his gaze only to find Sirius leaned on the door with a smirk on his face. She then decided to get out of the bed before Sirius could vocalize all the jokes she knew he would and also to avoid Remus, with the memories of the night and waking up tangled with him, she wasn't able to face him so she mumbled good morning and run out of the room. 

Hermione entered her room as quietly as she could and changed her clothes before laying on the bed next to a sleeping Ron. She ran her fingers throw his ginger hair and remembered all they've through together, all the good memories, the promises long ago forgotten. And although she was trying as hard as she could to blame him for the point they reach, she knew she was equally guilty. 

She remembered the moment when Ron started to get distant, how that hurt her but she did nothing to stop him, to talk to him and find what was happening, thinking that he just needed some time and how that time only made things worse. 

And her mind flowed to Remus, the events of the night before finally opening her eyes to what was happening, hoping he would kiss her, leaving her friends early to take care of him, the innocent flirtation. And that's when she started to cry, looking at the boy sleeping next to her, thinking how could she be so unfair with him? How once they made each other so happy but usually they couldn't even stay in the same room without acid comments to each other, feeling her heartbreak she ran her finger through his hair again and he opened his eyes. 

"What happened Mione? Why are you crying?" he asked, reaching for her hand 

"Why are you still with me?" Hermione asked, wiping her tears with her free hand 

"What do you mean?" he answered looking very confused "I love you, we're meant to be, you know that"

"Do I? Don't get me wrong Ron, I love you and I'll always love you but I miss you, I've been missing you for months" she stopped for a moment to breathe "I miss talking to you, we've used to talk all the time, spend time together and it was amazing but I think the war broke us, do you remember the last time we talk? Like really talk, not about our friends and family but sit and spend time together talking because we just wanted to be close?" 

"Well," Ron started but stopped so he could think "You're right, it was amazing back then, there's no way to fix this right?" 

"No, I don't think so, I wasn't being fair to you and I can't keep doing this" Hermione said, "I guess we said our goodbyes a long time ago but we were too stubborn to admit it so we just sank into fights because we didn't know what else to do" 

"We can be friends at least, right? We worked just fine as friends and I don't wanna lose you" was Ron's answers and she nodded feeling the tears pooling in her eyes again. 

Ron gave her one last kiss before pushing her to a tight hug, rubbing her back as she let the tears fall silently. They stayed like that until her tears stopped and she got up from the bed to collect her things, deciding to let the room to him and move to one of the million ones available in the house, she was at the door when something occurred to her and she turned to him.

"Who's gonna tell Molly?" Hermione asked "I mean, she's not gonna take this nicely, she was planning wedding and babies for Merlins sakes" 

"Don't worry, I'll tell her, even if it means to get spanked" he answered laughing and she smiled at him before leaving the room. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hermione decided to spend the entire day tidying up what would be her new room. Sirius didn't question anything when she asked which room she could stay in and also didn't comment on what he saw in the morning, what she was grateful for.

Even though she lied to herself that it wasn't a reason, she also avoided walking around the house to dodge Remus. After realizing the growing feelings she was feeling for him, Hermione was afraid that she wouldn't be able to act normally around him and he would push her away from him. 

Ginny showed up in the middle of the afternoon to help and it was another round of crying, trying to explain that although she knew that their relationship was over a long time ago still felt sad to end things.

Hermione was relieved when the redhead said that she knew it was only a matter of time for that to happen and she was actually happy that now the fights were going to stop. Ginny hugged her for a long time to reassure her that she wasn't mad. 

Remus was in the kitchen, gathering the pans and ingredients he needed to make dinner when Hermione entered the kitchen, her eyes were puffy and her nose was red, from the crying he assumed, Sirius told him about the end of her relationship with Ron and he didn't know what to say. 

"Hey," he said with a smile "didn't saw you all day" 

"Yeah, I was packing up in my new room" 

"I heard about that, I'm sorry" Hermione nodded at his words and turned her back to him to grab a cup "if you need to talk, I'm always here, you know that right?" 

"Thank you, but I just want to keep my mind busy and not think about it, so you are in charge of dinner tonight?" she changed the subject and Remus nodded "Then tell me when and what are we eating 'cause I'm hungry" 

"I'm making pasta and since you're so hungry, you can help me, your lazy girl," he said poking her rib with every word and making her laugh and cringe

Remus put her to slice the cheese while he made the sauce, poking her from time to time to tease her and make her laugh and even while he was concentrating he could see her looking at him from the corner of her eyes a few times. 

Hermione wasn't expecting the day to end like that but she was happy it did, she was feeling much lighter and feeling that everything was going to be okay, she was laughing and dodging Remus when Ginny came into the kitchen.

"What's going on here and what's smelling so good? I'm starving" the redhead asked laughing 

"It's pasta, it's ready so you can put the plates on the table and tell everyone," Remus said but didn't know if he was heard because the two girls in the kitchen seemed to be immersed in a silent conversation until Ginny smirked at her friend and left without saying anything.

Dinner was quiet, everyone talking about what had happened the night before and soon the table was full of laughter. Hermione could feel Remus' gaze on her and she smiled at him in an attempt to say that she was fine, one of those times she put her hand over his, that was resting on the table, and gave a little squeeze before turning her attention to the table in time to see that Ginny was looking at her with an "I see you" smile. She just rolled her eyes for the tenth time in the evening and took a sip of her wine, turning her attention back to Sirius who was speaking.

"All I'm saying is: Hermione made dinner and so far no one has died AND Ron and Hermione are sitting side by side and we haven't had a single passive-aggressive comment or fight, it's a strange night"

"Shut up Sirius," she said laughing "and technically Remus made dinner, I just cut the cheese"

"Yes, she almost cut her finger off but as it didn't happen I would say we have a breakthrough," Remus said laughing and pushing her shoulder with his shoulder, she wanted to be mad at the comment but couldn't, so she just joined the collective laugh looking at him with an obnoxious face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked and if you don't, please tell me what bothered you I like hearing this too (but please just be nice doing it, I'm kinda sensitive) and if you like it tell me as well, I think now things are going to start being interesting, see you next chapter :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you're tired of listening that i didn't proofread the chapter so I'm sorry but here's Sirius POV everyone :)
> 
> I've been receiving some very amazing comments so thank you all for taking the time to comment it makes me so happy you have no idea.

** POV Sirius  **

**_ 21st June _ **

It was almost lunchtime when he realized Remus and Hermione were still upstairs, it was uncommon for them so he decided to go to Remus room to find out what had happened, while Hermione was probably pass out drunk, Remus had no excuse. 

When he opened the door he wanted to laugh, fools, if Sirius had to describe Remus and Hermione in one word, it would be 'fools'. Remus was hugging Hermione from behind his nose buried in her hair and he looked peaceful while she was lightly holding his hand closer to her, he cleared his throat to wake them and had to hold his laugh when both didn't really pay attention.

The second time, Remus abruptly sat down and stared at him with a look that he knew very well and didn't take long until Hermione finally notice his presence. She stared at him, daring him to say something which only made his smirk bigger and in a record time she was out of the room without saying a word. 

Sirius closed the door and leaned over it, staring at Remus and waiting for him to start talking but the werewolf seemed to be too lost in his own thoughts to notice his friend stares so Sirius cleared his throat for the third time to get attention.

"So?" he asked finally drawing Remus attention 

"So what Sirius?" 

"What did I miss?" 

"You didn't miss anything" Remus answered and rolled his eyes

"Oh, so you weren't in bed with Hermione when I entered your room then?" Sirius said making sure to put as much sarcasm as he could in his voice

"You make it sound like something incredibly dirty when we were sleeping, that's it, sleeping Sirius, do you know what it is? Putting your head in the pillow, closing your eyes and sleeping?" 

"So you both decided to sleep in the same bed when you clearly have feelings for each other would be a good idea?" 

"First, we're friends, there's no feeling involved. Second, we didn't decide to sleep we just did" Remus raised his voice visibly annoyed by the conversation. 

"So nothing else happened? It went totally normal, nothing out of the ordinary?" Sirius looked at Remus and he avoided the gaze, and Sirius knew that meant he was hiding something "I knew it, what happened?"

"It was nothing Sirius, she has a boyfriend-"

"And that's going pretty good huh?" Sirius interrupts "They're practically in a honeymoon, there's no fighting every bloody day, there are no slamming doors, yelling, it's going so well that we hope every single day to one of them to not come down to eat so we can eat peacefully 'cause if both of them are in the same place is sure that is going to be an argument, she told you what happened last night?"

"She told me that he was pissed because she was leaving early but that's-"

"He was pissed?" Sirius laughs interrupting Remus again "He was yelling at her in the middle of the bar Remus, I think the only way this is not in the papers today in the gossip column is because Harry talked to the reporter and no one can say no to the boy-who-saved-everyone, the only moment they're not fighting is when they're shagging and not even that it's happening much" 

"Thanks for the image" Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius smirks at him "What do you want from me Sirius? Do you want me to be in the corner waiting for the moment that she ends her relationship to jump at her and "make her mine"? Or do you want me to start to influence her to break up with Ron to fulfil your expectations and fantasies? That's not me, I'm sorry"

"I just want you to admit that you fancy her, just that, I know that you still have Dora in your head and it makes it even harder but she's gone Moony, she's been gone for over a year now, it's time to start to feel again and yes, Hermione wouldn't be your first choice: she's so much younger, was your student and has a boyfriend but we don't choose those things, do we? I see how good she is to you and I'm not saying you should do something about it, I just want you to allow yourself to feel it" 

Sirius got out of the room before Remus could answer anything, sitting in his room he started to wonder if he had been too invasive or if he had said too much but he was just too tired of them pretending they didn't have feelings for each other. And he gets that she has a boyfriend and everything but dammit, all those exchanging looks, accidental touches and inside jokes were starting to irritate him, he just wanted them to be happy and stop being fools.

He remembered how destroyed Remus was after the war, how he barely ate, talked or even existed, he was a ghost walking through the house. It didn't matter how much Sirius tried, the man would only shake his head and said he was fine, until the first day he finds him with Hermione in the library, a few days later he started to show for meals but would almost only talk to her. He saw he gets better as the days were passing and even more after both of them started to share their nightmares and even if no one noticed, Remus helped her to heal some of her battle scars too. 

He didn't know how much time had passed until he hears a knock on the door, followed by Ginny entering the room to tell him that "they broke up" with a grin that didn't match someone who lost the opportunity to have her best friend as a sister-in-law, she didn't even let him say something before rushing out of the door, and he laughs knowing very well the reason for that grin. 

** FLASHBACK ON **

_ Sirius was sitting in the living room with a book on his lap, he wasn't paying much attention to it but it felt nice to have something to concentrate on instead of his nightmares. He was so focused that didn't even hear the step foot on the stairs indicating that someone was approaching, he only saw Ginny when she was next to him.  _

_ "That's not the time of the day you usually is with a bottle of firewhiskey on your hands?" she asked  _

_ "Yep, I guess it is but all my bottles are in the kitchen and Remus and Hermione are there"  _

_ "Again?" Sirius only nodded without taking his eyes off his book "And if you go there, they'll suddenly realise that they need to sleep instead of stay there, I just wanted to get something to eat"  _

_ She seats on the spot next to him and he handles her a bag of chips that she doesn't bother to ask how he had it and started to eat. _

_ "Why is so important to you that they spend so much time together? She has a boyfriend you know?" _

_ "I could ask you the same for you but with an aggravating factor since you are the sister of her boyfriend," Sirius says smirking at her and she let a sigh  _

_ "Fair enough, she's my best friend and I want to see her happy" _

_ "Same here, they are good for each other, they just don't know that yet"  _

_ They stay in silence until Harry shows up looking for her and she finishes her chips and follows Harry to their room after an exchange of a knowing look with Sirius.  _

** END OF FLASHBACK  **

** 6th August  **

Sirius knew he shouldn't have drunk that much but Harry said to him that he was going to stay sober to take care of everyone and it had been a while since the last time Remus had agreed to come to a bar, and he only said yes because Hermione insisted, so he let himself to get drunk. 

He was laying on his bed trying to sleep but the walls spinning and nausea he was feeling weren't helping with the task, so he decided to search for a sober potion only to find out he didn't have any, he made a mental note to buy more next morning and went out of his room towards Remus' knowing that the werewolf would probably have the potion that he so desperately needed.

However, before he could get into the room he saw that he had company, sort of, Hermione was standing at the door looking at him and smiling. Sirius was too far and couldn't hear what they were saying so he leaned into the wall waiting for her to leave so he could get his potion but instead, he saw the moment Remus put his hands on her waist and after what it seemed an extremely fast movement for a drunk Sirius they were kissing, really kissing, and as they entered in Remus' room Sirius didn't know if he should celebrate that it was finally happening or curse Remus for the bad timing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it happened (kind of?) so please let me tell you what you think :)

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, see you in the next chapter :)


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